Why Take the PAIRS class?
Lenny and Sarah share their story.
The PAIRS Class consists of easy-to-use, yet powerful communication and relationship tools that deepen understanding, turn conflict into connection, and enhance intimacy.
PAIRS Class on Maui
November 23rd & 24th, 2013
Space is Limited
*Includes Course Manuals. In Kihei (Maui Meadows).
Directions sent upon receipt of deposit.
PAIRS teaches what you need to succeed in relationship!
Recent research shows you can cut your chance of divorce in half just by taking a relationship skills class like this one. Most marriages suffer only because couples never learned the skills necessary to sustain a loving relationship. PAIRS is a dynamic “hands-on” educational program proven to enhance your relationship. Through instruction, demonstration and practice in a relaxed and safe way, significant progress is easy. Learn the skills necessary to maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship. PAIRS is a unique combination of theory and practice delivered in a highly effective format. PAIRS teaches what you need to succeed in relationship.
LOVE is the best medicine! As Dr. Dean Ornish says, “I am not aware of any other factor in medicine that has a greater impact on our survival than the healing power of love and intimacy. Not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery.”
Anyone who wants the most out of their relationship. We spend time working on our careers, on our hobbies, on our kids, on our bodies with exercise, and we need alone time–which doesn’t leave much time for the relationship. We sometimes assume that living together and hanging out is enough to sustain an abundant relationship. But without the “tools” all you might really end up with is co-existence rather than a cohesive partnership. This class is not just for couples with issues or problems, it is more of a course to strengthen the reason you came together in the first place: to connect in love. By the time you’re done you will have a renewed appreciation for the amazing bond you and your partner have always had.
If you want to attend but your partner won’t, go ahead and take the class yourself. You will learn so much! Your relationship will benefit from you having the skills and tools that help relationships succeed.
If you are single and want a healthy, happy relationship, this class is for you too! Many singles take the class because they know it helps them break old patterns and prepares them, heart and mind, for a relationship that works.
PAIRS is for men or women of any age, race, ethnicity, spiritual, or sexual orientation who are single or at any stage of relationship.
PAIRS is training in interpersonal skills that sustain healthy relationships. The program can help you to develop the necessary skills to:
- Sustain a loving and healthy relationship
- Improve an unsatisfying relationship
- Discover the causes of disappointment
- Avoid the mistakes made in previous relationships
- Enhance your ability to create a joyful, fulfilling future with a partner
- Assist others in strengthening their relationships
PAIRS is for you if you are:
- Living Together
- Entering a New Relationship
- In the Helping Professions
PAIRS is also beneficial for practitioners and counselors who wish to expand their toolboxes.
Couples are held together because of energetic bonds. The energies of attraction and beliefs, of love, commitment, and sexual pleasure are powerful unifying forces. Emotions are energies too and nowhere are they more intense than in intimate relationship. Yet sometimes these same energies break couples apart. I will teach you how to work with them in a way that sustains and enhances your relationship.
Communication is the “glue” that determines the longevity of these energetic bonds, and couples communication is a unique and beautiful thing. I love working with couples (and singles) to help you navigate the intricacies of intimate relationship. This program focuses primarily on Communication Skills, Emotional Literacy, Conflict Resolution, Self-Awareness and Relationship Skills.
The Two-Day Passage to Intimacy course teaches what you need to succeed in relationship. It addresses arenas such as what to do when your partner withdraws, how to deal with anger in a healthy way, how to maintain closeness, how to communicate about stressful topics, tools for confiding, how to check out assumptions, how to resolve ongoing issues, and more.
The weekend workshop consists of learning and practicing 10 different communication and relationship tools. Each tool addresses a different need. By the end of the workshop, you have developed an entire communication skill set or “tool box” and experienced their transformative effects. It will not be a weekend of boring lectures that’s for sure! I definitely make it fun and engaging.
Relationship Education is Not Therapy
As a psychologist, Dr. Wade Horn, assistant secretary of Health and Human Services for children and families, emphasizes that marriage ed is not marriage therapy, which often lasts longer and costs more. ”Marriage education is very skills-focused, with problem solving, negotiation, communication. Somebody who goes into marriage education is unlikely to talk about childhood traumas.” He or she is more likely to have a workbook, homework and a series of sessions with instruction and practice, Horn says. “There’s a lot of research that shows what separates healthy marriages from unhealthy ones is not the frequency of conflict but the way the couple manages conflict,” Dr. Horn says. “The good news is we can teach conflict resolution skills.” (USA Today, Feb. 5, 2004)
Lately, a new breed of therapist and “marriage educator” is shaking up the profession. These educators reject the passive, old-style therapies that emphasize personal growth over shared commitment and take a more aggressive, hands-around-the-neck approach to saving marriages. “They feel therapists have been too quick in calling an end to relationships and having people move on,” says University of Chicago sociology professor Linda Waite. The new breed also advocates premarital skill training and early intervention in problems–learning the ropes before tying the knot. “It’s like a vaccination,” says Waite, “instead of having to do surgery when something goes wrong.”
What if you could go to school instead of to a shrink? That’s the idea behind Marriage Education. “It’s less expensive and more effective than therapy,”The therapy model is ‘I’ll treat you, and, voila, your marriage will work.’ The education model is much more respectful. It assumes there’s nothing wrong with you–you’re not sick. You just need better information, and it assumes you can apply it to your situation. It’s also not a long-term process.” (Time Magazine, Jan. 19, 2004) says Diane Sollee, 59, who gave up her marriage-therapy career to create the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education. “
On Day One we will learn about:
- The logic of love
- The logic of emotions
- Emotional intelligence
- The role of bonding
- Identifying relationship patterns
- What happens when stress hits
- Demonstrations of communication stress styles
- Congruent communication
- Tools and practices for staying current in relationship
- The role of constructive listening
- Tools and practices for constructive listening
- What constitutes healthy expression
- Tools and practices for healthy expression
- How to know and ask for what you need
On Day Two we will learn about:
- The role of emotion in intimate relationship
- The role of anger in intimate relationship
- Suppression vs. aggression
- Dirty fighting tactics
- Tools and practices for healthy anger expression
- Tools and practices for the healthy expression of emotions
- How to resolve conflict
- Tools and practices for negotiating significant change
- Your brain and how it processes emotion
- The limbic hijack
- Emotional allergies
- Tools and practices for breaking patterns
- Healing the present through the past
- Your PAIRS Tool Kit
2 Days – 9:00 a.m. – approx. 6:00 p.m. (with breaks and an hour for lunch, on your own)
- PAIRS courses are instructional, skill-based private practice sessions that encourage accelerated and practical learning
- Each class consists of instruction, demonstration, and practice in private break-out sessions
- No one is required to participate in any activity in which they are not comfortable
- Coaching is always available and participation in exercises is voluntary
- There is no mandatory sharing of personal information with the group and no last names are requested – your privacy is yours
- Participants are not allowed to “take the floor” discussing personal issues. If necessary, an issue is discussed in private during a break-out practice session
- If coupled, you must have your partner’s permission to share specific information when coaching or interaction with other participants is involved
PAIRS teaches you how to sustain a happy relationship. The program consists of easy-to-use, yet powerful tools that deepen understanding, turn conflict into connection, which will lead to enhanced intimacy.
By renewing your connection through communication, your intimacy will regenerate – preventing infidelity. “The worst enemies in a relationship are the two people in it,” says Howard Markman, also a co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and a professor in the psychology department. “We destroy our own love.“
The biggest culprit is lack of communication. Everyone hears that, but what do you do about it? Expressing your wants and needs and, more important, listening to your partner, are learned skills. “You have to stay attached (through communication) through all the crud that goes on in life,” says Gregg Gorman, a Centennial, Colo., psychotherapist who specializes in relationship building and rescue. “Most affairs are because people have detached,” he says, not because of sex. (The Denver Post, April, 2004)
It’s never too late to learn! PAIRS is a nationally acclaimed program with proven results.
You bet! We are going to fill your toolbox with the power of resolution and ways for the most connective communication. You will pair up with your partner (or with the instructor if you are single) and practice these tools in the class so you are comfortable using them. You will have worksheets and a course manual for reminders. The fun part about the PAIRS course is, you get to learn about how to correct what wasn’t working before. Plus, even though you’ll in honeymoon mode when you leave the class, life will still bring you opportunities to grow. The beauty is now you will have the most highly effective tools to apply to any situation to enhance your communication and support both you and your partner, rather than what you’ve been doing most of your relationship life.
“I got more out of the two days of PAIRS than a year of couples therapy as far as learning how to resolve conflict and how my relationship can continue to grow into intimacy. WELL worth the time and money!”
Debra consistently receives superior evaluations (90+) by her workshop participants.
Below are testimonials from her PAIRS course participants:
“Debra is animated, energetic, informed and highly able to facilitate. She is extremely well prepared and knowledgeable and yet is playful and open.”
“We’re about to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary, after taking your workshop while engaged, and have used the tools we learned with you many times. I just wanted to say thank you for helping us establish our absolutely incredible marriage so firmly. The world needs more people doing the sort of work you do.”
“Debra is totally knowledgeable, giving and sharing from the heart, from her own “live” in-the-moment experience. She is empathetic, encouraging, real, and includes humor to lighten things up–good pace.”
more out of the two days of PAIRS than a year of couples therapy
as far as learning how to resolve conflict and how my relationship
can continue to grow into intimacy. WELL worth the time and money!”
“Debra is very professional, knowledgeable, fun, light hearted and sincerely caring.”
“PAIRS brings a sense of peace and harmony to the partners and the family. By using the tools, each family member feels heard, respected, and loved. Conflicts are resolved.”
“Debra is a warm, funny, clear, sensitive, knowledgeable living example of PAIRS”
“This is relationships 101. Wouldn’t it have been great to have taken it in high school? It’s not too late.”
“Debra is outstanding, warm, caring, direct, competent, and focused.”
“This is what we’ve been looking for for 15 years.”
“I appreciated Debra’s openness in sharing her own experiences.”
“The PAIRS program is a highly comprehensive, powerful system of resolution and maintenance in relationships. Even in emotionally charged situations there are effective tools for swift solution.”
Debra has been studying and teaching communication all of her adult life. She has over 20 years of teaching experience in communication. This includes teaching in conventional institutions such as the University of Kansas, the University of Hawaii, and Ohio State University, as well as more alternative schools such as Esalen Institute and the Graduate School for Holistic Studies at John F. Kennedy University.
In addition to teaching in academic institutions, Debra has presented her work at national conferences and has facilitated hundreds of workshops for various organizations. These include the National Communication Association (NCA), the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (ITP), the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), and the American Institute of Stress (AIS), among others.
Debra is a licensed, certified PAIRS facilitator dedicated to living what she teaches. She first learned of the PAIRS program by completing the four month semester course. She was so inspired by the curriculum, tools and skills that she traveled to the PAIRS Foundation on the east coast and upon completing the training courses she became a certified PAIRS facilitator in 2000.
Debra has an undergraduate degree in Communication, a Master’s in Intercultural Communication (University of Kansas) and a dual PhD (Ohio State University) in Communication and Somatic Studies (Body-Mind Integration). As you can tell, Debra is passionate about communication! Still, despite all of her formal studies and teaching, it wasn’t until discovering the PAIRS program that she felt like she had finally arrived. This really is a tribute to PAIRS.
Debra is a dynamic and engaging instructor who brings humor and heart to what she teaches. She is the author of the acclaimed book, Endless Energy: The Essential Guide to Energy Health, and founder of Inner Clarity (IC), a holistic energy balancing method. She teaches seminars, trainings, workshops, and offers private sessions at the Four Seasons Resort on Maui, where she lives. Phone sessions are available worldwide.
Debra is available to teach seminars in your area. Click here to contact her.
You can register for the upcoming class by clicking the link below to make a
deposit. Your deposit is part of the tuition and is
not an additional fee. Your balance is due at the start of the class on
Space is limited! The class is held at a private residence. Directions are sent upon receipt of deposit. This is a small class for quality
learning. So sign-up now.
It’s completely risk free. If you are not 100% satisfied
by the end of the class, your entire tuition will be refunded. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
PAIRS Passage to Intimacy (2-day)
Tuition: $395/couple or $200/individual (Includes course manuals)
Deposit: $200/couple or $100/individual
Or you can pay by PayPal (debra at debra greene dot com) or send a check to Debra Greene, PhD, 1215 S. Kihei Rd. #907, Kihei, HI, 96753. A confirmation letter and directions to the class are sent upon receipt of deposit. Please be sure to include your phone number and email address.
Here is the fine print:
If I cancel the class (I have never done this, but just in case) you will receive a full refund. If you cancel 7 days or more prior to the start of the class you will receive a refund minus a $25 processing fee. If you cancel less than 7 days prior to class, sorry, no refunds.
If you are not completely satisfied at the end of the class, your full tuition will be refunded.
Couples Private Tutorials
Although enrolling in a class is the most economical way to learn the PAIRS relationship skills, if the class schedule does not meet your needs, Debra is available for private tutorials. You can learn and practice healthy, constructive communication skills through a personalized, professionally guided program designed to meet your specific needs. Set your own pace and schedule. Click here to contact her.
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